1. |
Me and Lucy
02:42
|
|||
I went to marry Cindy Sherman,
But I couldn't find out who she was
So I went instead to an agent who said,
"I've got some viragoes."
He told me let's do lunch
And that's when he uttered her beautiful name,
"Lucy Lawless."
She used to go by Lucille Francis Ryan
Until with Garth she tied the knot.
But when they scrapped their marriage it was too late
Her stage name was already "hot."
Now I've got a date with her
And there ain't much more to possess
Me and Lucy
Tanning leather,
Polishing armor.
That's how we'll be,
Me and Lucy.
We had dinner and saw a movie
And went for a long walk.
She said she understood the arrangement,
So I started in with my talk,
"Will you marry me?"
And that's when she uttered those beautiful words,
"Yes, I'll marry you."
And so we headed off to Las Vegas,
And stopped in at the nearest marriage joint.
And as we wait in line at the chapel,
Life begins to have a point
Now I'm gonna marry her
And there ain't much more to possess
Me and Lucy
Mending chain mail,
Roasting wild boar.
That's how we'll be,
Me and Lucy.
Me and Lucy Lawless
Will grow old and gray.
I know that she's not flawless,
But to me that's OK.
She had some leather on,
I don't remember much else.
|
||||
2. |
Cloning Frank Blacks
03:04
|
|||
They're cloning Frank Blacks,
I seen 'em all around town.
They're cloning Frank Blacks,
I seen 'em all around town.
They recognized his genius way back when,
Along with his unique physical characteristics.
So, they took some seamen from the pink satin strip
Of an old electric blanket.
And they've had it frozen away since
Nineteen eighty four.
[cryogenically]
Now this time in science has come;
They've got the know how and now they're
Replicating, replicating.
Frank Black
He's everywhere.
They're cloning Frank Blacks
I seen 'em all around town.
They're cloning Frank Blacks
I seen 'em all around town.
Those scientists have asked the age old question:
Is one Frank Black enough?
And now they've given us
A multiplicity of answers.
I don't know when they started to live,
But now there are so many of our rock bodhisattva.
They are running this whole valley into the ground,
And you can't tell who is who, who is who.
Frank Black
He's everywhere.
Donate a few G's for a research grant
And you could have your own Frank Black clone.
Just imagine how impressed your friends would be
And how your next cocktail party would be so much fun.
Frank Black
Frank Black
He's everywhere.
He's everywhere.
He's everywhere.
Come visiting was a Frank Black clone.
He said although I'm just a hack, shown
Visually I'm a close match, but it's known
That I'm a fake by where my batch number's sewn.
Do you think you'll like me better
When I'm a rock n' roll star?
They're cloning George Washington's trees,
So why not Frank Black too?
|
||||
3. |
Holed Up In Penjinskya
03:33
|
|||
What can you see inside of me
[I will take you with me to Penjinskya]
I wanna be holed up in Penjinskya,
And I don't care what I've got to do to get there.
Ahh
And we'll get there in an "M" bag
Underneath a rusty cargo deck.
Penjinskya
Ahh
Bah dah ...
We'll be holed up in Penjinskya
And we won't have a lot to do
In Penjinskya Penjinskya Penjinskya
|
||||
4. |
(Eating) Humble Pie
03:09
|
|||
My baby's got pretty good diction,
But she doesn't have much to say.
And because of her affliction
She sleeps most of the day.
Lately she's been getting jealous
About my dark soirees in town.
She tells me I'm over zealous
About wearing my fleshy gown.
Momma, have a heart;
You know that I'm your only man.
And we shall never part,
You've got to understand.
The feds paid me not to farm my land,
So now I'm doin' some odd jobs here and there.
At grave robbing I've tried my hand,
And turns out pretty well I did fare.
But now they're on to my experimentation,
And now I've just become an arrestee.
They never took seriously my adumbration,
But now they know I'm a necro-debauchee.
There'll be no four bit auction for me,
'Cause they done burned up all that's left.
No there ain't nothin' left to see,
[Ex]'cept that old Ford of me they done bereft.
I got acquitted on account of insanity,
And so I'm up here in my padded cell.
Out of mind from most of humanity,
And for them it's probably just as well.
But I don't need myself a head shrinker
When I can shrink heads on my own.
Yep, I sure am a real different thinker,
But I don't need no butyrophenone.
|
||||
5. |
Abigail
02:15
|
|||
Abigail I want you in my dreams.
Abigail As doting as it seems.
I just can't think about
Anyone or thing else but you
What you can't see
Is painfully clear to me
I have no one
And cannot accept our love's end
Abigail I want you in my dreams
Abigail Your soul I do esteem
And I can't imagine being
Without you one second more
What you can't see
Is painfully clear to me.
I have nothing
And cannot accept your hatred
Abigail I want you in my dreams.
Abigail I want you to be mine.
And as crazy as it seems,
I just need to be here with you.
|
||||
6. |
Melyssa, with a 'y'
03:09
|
|||
Her name's Melyssa with a "y"
She says come on baby, let's go get high
No that's a lie, but where should I start?
Her claddagh ring invites me into her heart.
You have given me so much air time girl
[Melyssa, I can't handle this without you girl]
And I just don't know what to do
I don't know what buttons to push now babe
[Here with my new toy]
[[I'm just helpless here with my new little toy]]
[[[Melyssa, I can't handle this without you girl]]]
And I just don't know what
Just don't know
Don't know what.
It's been torn out of the last SOB by those little gold hands
You may want lovin' but they've got other plans
Her little golden navel peaks out from under its tiny shirt
Its only company is a crude tatoo which I think just says "Dirk"
You have given me so much air time girl
[Melyssa, I can't handle this without you girl]
And I just don't know what to do
I don't know what buttons to push now babe
[Here with my new toy]
[[I'm just helpless here with my new little toy]]
[[[Melyssa, I can't handle this without you girl]]]
And I just don't know what
Don't know what
Just don't know.
She writes her number on the back of a brochure
And then she finally stops calling me sir.
when I leave I know I'll never see her again,
But that's OK 'cause she's forever stuck in my brain.
You have given me so much air time girl
[Melyssa, I can't handle this without you girl]
And I just don't know what to do
I don't know what buttons to push now babe
[Here with my new toy]
[[I'm just helpless here with my new little toy]]
[[[Melyssa, I can't handle this without you girl]]]
And now I just don't know what
Just don't know
Just don't know what to do.
|
||||
7. |
New York Debutante
06:00
|
|||
I've got a car fulla lotion
And a New York debutante
About to hit the open road
And put some air in her bouffant
[Her bouffant]
Air in her bouffant
She's got a body like Twiggy and a
Voice like Carol Burnette
[Ahh]
And with it says, "Here's my tattoo, baby,
have you seen it yet?
[Seen it yet?]
It's a faux anklet."
Before I get too far, let me
Tell you how it all began
[Began]
On the Upper West Side at
Le Chez Parisienne
[Use the can]
I stopped to use the can.
While I was on my way out I seen this
Chiquita give me a glance
[She gave him the goo-goo eye]
So I just strolled on over and said,
"Baby you wanna dance?"
[Wanna dance]
I couldn't stand the romance
Now I can see clearly that she
Wants to be my New York debutante
[Her ugly voice tells me that she will dance
With me right here in this froofee restaurant]
[[Ain't nothing ugly 'bout the
Rest of my debutante]]
[[[It don't matter that my car is
Blocking a fire hydrant]]]
Right about that time I seen her
Daddy exercising some clout
[Her daddy came charging]
He said "Now look here, son,
you had best be getting out."
[Getting out]
That's what he started to shout.
I told him, 'Look here, Ashley,
I just stopped in to take a pee,
[Micturate or urinate, shake the weasel,
drain the main vain, take a piss, wee]
But now that Phoebe's in the picture
There's just one thing that I can see:
[How did he get past the ma”tre d'?]
I'll take your daughter with me.'
So we just split from that joint
And left the whole damn isle behind
[Behind]
And now we're headed down south
To find somewhere to unwind
[To unwind]
Get her old man out of mind
Looks like I've caught us up on the story,
So here we are:
Boy stops in to take a leak and meets girl.
[Girl meets the man she's been
Waiting for to set her free.]
Now they're in a lotion filled car.
And this life chapter is ending;
I'm goin' nowhere as a lotion tzar,
[This old car]
But this old Brat should get us far.
I've liberated her from her posh but empty
Life as a New York debutante
[She wasn't made for life in any high society;
She needs something aberrant]
[[I'm having a good drive with my
New York debutante]]
[[[She needs an adventure, my
New York debutante]]]
We got a long way to go before we
Get to New Orleans
[New Orleans]
But for the moment we're just happy
Drivin' with our dreams
[With our dreams]
And gettin' some grub in Queens
It's time to unload some lotion after
We finish our meal
[Bulgogi]
And so then Johnny Lee and I,
We do cut a deal
[Getting a steal]
He's really getting a steal
Well, now I'm pumped fulla soju and so
Phoebe's in Brat command
And I'm just navigating us
The best I can
[Road as land]
And all road is our land
Lotion dilettante, teenage debutante
Nubile sycophant, inguinal commandant
[Ooo, sycophant]
I'm her tough guy guardant
And she's my little adjuvant
[Yeah, tough guy guardant]
Affaire mas piquant, Asian intoxicant
[Mas piquant]
I-95 accelerant, neuf et soixant
[Accelerant]
Have some Asti Spumant(e), à votre sant(é)
[Asti Spumant(e)]
A tuneful maison du sant(e)
And some lotion fragrant.
[maison du sant(e)]
|
||||
8. |
Darling, Sunshine
01:50
|
|||
me:
Well, sure, you've got nice hair and teeth,
But I know about the feminine dryness
You might be ignorant and arrogant
But you don't have a problem with shyness
her:
I changed my name to Sunshine
So I could sell things on the phone
Then I got into broadcasting
After I lost my Midwestern accent
And I had my chin done
me:
Well, sure, you got nice nails and legs,
But I know your left breast is bigger than the right one
You might be smart as a box o' rocks,
But you sure do get plenty of sun
her:
I wanted to have a baby
But I couldn't imagine getting
That fat so I got myself a divorce
And now I'm sucking and blackmailing
My way up to a nation al anchor spot
me:
O, darling, you cannot smile when you
talk about an aeroplane crash.
You really annoy me
But I still want to fuck you.
|
||||
9. |
Swiss Ann
04:25
|
|||
Swiss Ann Swiss Ann Swiss Ann Swiss Ann
Your directional aptitude had me impressed
And then I went off in to a blast,
But not before I went and prematurely assessed
That our love should last
You have given me a sickness and now there
Is no Joy and no Hope
[No Liberty]
No, it's just Swiss Ann
Saturate my soul.
Ann, O, Swiss
[Girl in the deep night walking her bicycle]
Ann, O, Swiss
[Girl in the deep night walking her bicycle]
Ann, O, Swiss
[Girl in the deep night walking her bicycle]
Ann.
[Girl in the deep night walking her bicycle]
The perfumed residue of your
Over-soaping leaches in to the air.
This and the subtle bounce of your hair
Cling to me; cling from you to me
After hunting you down like that
You think me vain
And I'm just another well-fitted
Tile in the water
Closet of your brain
Ann, O, Swiss
[Girl in the deep night riding her bicycle]
Ann, O, Swiss
[Girl in the deep night riding her bicycle]
Ann, O, Swiss
[Girl in the deep night riding her bicycle]
Ann.
[Girl in the deep night riding her bicycle]
I can see you riding your bicycle with your long skirt on
My cardboard box.
Your crisp blue blouse
My chaotic smile
Your freshly washed hair
My unpunctual laughter
Your unscented face
My clumsy vernacular
Your muscular neck
My awkward gaze
Your facile hands
My obsessed craze
Your barrista aptitude
I'm just a small entry into your world
And the only one in mine
Ann, O, Swiss Ann.
I can see you torching my picture and forgetting me entirely.
|
||||
10. |
(Ghost of) Fusion Bob
03:48
|
|||
I think I heard somethin' on the front porch
Must be the ghost of Fusion Bob
I think I'll go offer him some coffee
You know how he likes to hobnob
Well the season's gettin' cold and it sure is blowin' hard
so I offer him to come on inside
He whips out his fretless Stratocaster
And belts out an old favorite lied
Once upon a time he was a metal head
and listen'd to nothin' much lighter than Gwar!
But now he rejects metal and punk with repugnance
or any thing much heavier than Al Di Meola
Anyway he's sure got some hipster ghost skills
he can change his face just like Audra Wolfmann
Now Bob puts his silky smooth guitar down
and launches in to a tirade about Jan (Hammer, that is)
|
||||
11. |
Philip
03:12
|
|||
Philip's gonna be a rock n' roll star
we should just let him go
"I think he went out, bought himself a guitar."
"And see how his hair has grown."
Philip you don't know how lucky you are
to be free of numbers
I'm slaving away for a great Russian tzar
Just to get some bread
He went to South Asia learned to play the sitar
and dropped some acid with John and Paul
Tossed out his former works and rode that hip filmi car
all the way to repetitive microform
[Philip, Philip, Philip, Philip]
Philip's gonna be a rock n' roll star;
we should just let him go.
'I think he went out, bought himself a guitar.'
'And see how his hair has grown.'
[Coy yawning hot seal
Go to Djibouti
Lenon McCartney
Lenin and Trotsky]
Sure he's no doubt a really smart guy
but not too intellectual for the droves
His ideas aren't at all pie in the sky;
They're tangible and palatable
He has worked his ass off to get where
He is and makes no apologies for his work
He's got a sound that's uniquely his
You can recognize it a mile a way
Some say he's minimal but they should know better;
he's way beyond way beyond way beyond way beyond that
When he get's goin' your ear he does fetter
He likes to drive an idea home
Sufficiently simple in every way
And never too busy for an autograph
Saw him on the street just the other day
And said, "Hi, Phil," before he got a way
Philip's gonna be a rock n' roll star;
We should just let him go.
|
||||
12. |
What Do I Know?
03:02
|
|||
What do I know about electricity?
What do I know about any thing?
What do I know about fascism or neo-Nazi's
Or the old one's for that matter
Or the ones that came in between
Or Karl Marx, Trotsky, socialism
Navy super magnetism schemes?
What do I know?
What do I know about ugly stain fighting?
What do I know about anything?
What do I know about street fighting,
Barbecue pits or motorcycle riding,
Building houses, thinking big or even small?
Or speaking Swahili, the history of civilization,
Or leprichans?
What do I know?
What do I know about salty onion rings?
What do I know about any thing?
What do I know about fine wine drinking,
Breaking sauces, table settings, linoleum,
Laying tile, standup comedy?
A flight to Mars or television cathode ray tubes
Or hypsometers?
What do I know?
What do I know about mowing fields of hay?
What do I know about any thing?
What do I know about cleaning teeth
Or gingivitis, the far right militia movement,
Subatomic physics, nipple rings?
Or electron microscopy
Or naval piercings berry harvesting?
What do I know?
What do I know about dirty dish washing?
What do I know about any thing?
What do I know about intestinal discomfort
Or Mitochondria, anal pores, sunsets,
Sunrises or pollen spores?
The birds and the bees parenting,
Death, the caste system or any classes?
What do I know?
What do I know about cell biology?
What do I know about anything?
What do I know about furniture making,
Refrigeration, truck or bus driving,
Transportation, coffee, fermenting tea?
Or kimchee milking a cow, a goat,
Or a sheep, or making clotted cream?
What do I know?
What do I know about changing diapers?
What do I know about any thing?
What do I know about cooking octopus,
Catching squid, speaking Dutch,
Or yachting, sailing, or any other travel by boat?
Or supercomputing, or electronics of any kind, or tatoos?
What do I know?
What do I know about nuclear physics?
What do I know about any thing?
What do I know about aureolas, g-spot finding, U F O's,
Crop rings, outer space multiple orgasms, making toast.
Brain surgery roto molded plastics,
The paranormal, prostitution?
What do I know?
What do I know about playing the guitar?
What do I know about any thing?
What do I know about Urdu culture,
Climbing mountains, barometers, cigar wrapping,
Running fast, eating well, or baseball?
Home auto mation, cricket, bocci,
Curling or any sport known to man?
What do I know?
|
||||
13. |
Miss B.
05:34
|
|||
Miss B.'s personal hygiene
wasn't quite up to par
to the standards of the
Western medical establishment
Miss B. lived just upstairs from me,
you know she never was a wife
She hadn't really cared too much for
men for a long time now, any way
Her old man would only let her move out
if she got herself knocked up
so, you know that's exactly what she did
At just sixteen
three or four times was all it took
and none of them were as
painful as it had been When
Uncle Joe had gotten her
alone a few years earlier
She had to put the kid up for adoption
soon after it was born
'cause she didn't have the money to
feed and clothe the kid, any way
Well, that was many years ago,
the kid's probably dead or
gone to college by now but
it sure got her out of the house
Out on her own she's managed to
support her self over the years
with a whole slew of different jobs
She's now got a job down at the
local state college branch where
she often gets taunted and teased
Mainly it's because of her lifestyle but
she had to keep the job in spite of this;
it gave her somethin' to do
and she needed to pay the rent, any way
She did long for some kind of love
in this wasteland of aluminum siding
and open roads, home-welded gun racks,
four-door cabs and her tired conscience
She longs for some companionship but
she dislikes nearly all people likes this
rural life OK cause she can keep to herself
but I was an exception
she seemed to trust me for some reason
Some times she'd knock at my front door
It was always after she came home from work
I'd usually go outside on our shared porch
to chat with her because the intense smell
was just too much, any way
I don't reckon she bathes much more
than there are weeks on a calendar
From what I gather her sisters have tried to
stage a few of those interventions
over the years
But she wasn't really mentally ill
well no more than the rest of us.
I've been keeping track of her in my diary
I figure I'll be the only one who can say
anything personal about her at her funeral:
'Just the other day
I got a letter regarding sadness,
but it turns out it was misaddressed'
'I don't need comisery
when I can do it on my own;
The feelings of one are easy to suppress'
'I don't have the patience,
so let's just watch TV
'And one day I will become an ancress,
Or I'll be on TV or become Earl's Duchess,
Or win the lottery,
Or voice my desperation,
Or eat like a queen,
if only just for one day.'
|
||||
14. |
Chrome Molly
03:45
|
|||
Chrome Molly
Chrome Molly
Once you're in the chrome-plated dress
You'll never find an egress.
Chrome Molly
Chrome Molly
She's never makes it to Mass,
And she'll never turn down a pass.
She's Chrome Molly
Chrome Molly
Chrome Molly
Well, yah, I said "yes,"
But I was under duress.
Chrome Molly
Chrome Molly
She's just so curvaceous,
And my life's just tenebrous.
She's Chrome Molly
[Chrome Molly speaking]
You found out IÕve got a crush on you?
I left the cookies at your door.
Have you noticed I'm being aloof?
I think I've got chlamooodia.
It's soft.
I want you.
It's hard.
It's wet.
[slurp, slurp]
Chrome Molly
Chrome Molly
She tries to make me jealous
With her muscle man Russ.
Chrome Molly
Chrome Molly
Well, sure she's vacuous,
But still always garrulous.
Chrome Molly
|
||||
15. |
Selfsame Twin
03:42
|
|||
You've got a selfsame twin,
I met her last night.
Although I couldn't win,
I sure put up a fight.
[Ooh... Ahh...]
She had a coldass lexicon
Rollin' off her tongue.
Yep, she broke the alenon,
The restraints came undone.
She had redblack hair
In a neat little bob
And a killer stare
That could take down the mob.
Selfsame twin
She's got me by the balls,
And she's about to crush them with her evil muscular hands.
She wore tight black leather pants
And a conical bustier;
The golden tassels danced
Around the aureolae
She got me all buttered up,
As she ripped off my breachclout.
I was naked as a little pup,
As she beat me with her knout
Selfsame twin
She's got me by the balls,
And she's about to crush them with her evil muscular hands.
She makes nothing but discord,
That evil diadem.
Slashing with her heart sword,
She's just a man killing femme.
That totipotent somatic cell,
Has got me in her sight
She'll bring me straight to hell
By the end of the night.
Selfsame twin
She's got me by the balls,
And she's about to crush them with her evil muscular hands.
You've got a selfsame twin,
I met her last night.
Although I couldn't win,
I sure put up fight.
Your teratoma's got you.
What was once just a mole
Has now got the sinew
To take over your soul.
Selfsame twin
She's got me by the balls,
And she's about to crush them with her evil muscular hands.
You've got a selfsame twin
Although I couldn't win,
I sure put up a fight
Against that twin o' yours.
Selfsame twin
Selfsame twin
Selfsame twin
|
||||
16. |
Esmerelda
03:01
|
|||
[Esmerelda:]
Came up here, but I'm still deaf
To a world I never knew;
Still can't make a living here--
Nothing to do.
[her abusive sister:]
Esmerelda, sister, dear
Where you're going to go from here?
You've got no where else to go without me;
Now I just wish this much you could see.
[Esmerelda:]
Left my old country;
they weren't much use
Did not know where to turn
Got to ditch my sister, now.
Before she makes me like her.
You've got to just break me free
Before I'm burned.
[abusive sister]
Esmerelda, can't you see
What they're trying to do to me.
Ain't nothing but myself in this whole world
I can't control when my fist is furled.
Esmerelda, Esmerelda, Esmerelda.
|
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