I've got a car fulla lotion
And a New York debutante
About to hit the open road
And put some air in her bouffant
[Her bouffant]
Air in her bouffant
She's got a body like Twiggy and a
Voice like Carol Burnette
[Ahh]
And with it says, "Here's my tattoo, baby,
have you seen it yet?
[Seen it yet?]
It's a faux anklet."

Before I get too far, let me
Tell you how it all began
[Began]
On the Upper West Side at
Le Chez Parisienne
[Use the can]
I stopped to use the can.

While I was on my way out I seen this
Chiquita give me a glance
[She gave him the goo-goo eye]
So I just strolled on over and said,
"Baby you wanna dance?"
[Wanna dance]
I couldn't stand the romance

Now I can see clearly that she
Wants to be my New York debutante
[Her ugly voice tells me that she will dance
With me right here in this froofee restaurant]
[[Ain't nothing ugly 'bout the
Rest of my debutante]]
[[[It don't matter that my car is
Blocking a fire hydrant]]]

Right about that time I seen her
Daddy exercising some clout
[Her daddy came charging]
He said "Now look here, son,
you had best be getting out."
[Getting out]
That's what he started to shout.

I told him, 'Look here, Ashley,
I just stopped in to take a pee,
[Micturate or urinate, shake the weasel,
drain the main vain, take a piss, wee]
But now that Phoebe's in the picture
There's just one thing that I can see:
[How did he get past the ma”tre d'?]
I'll take your daughter with me.'

So we just split from that joint
And left the whole damn isle behind
[Behind]
And now we're headed down south
To find somewhere to unwind
[To unwind]
Get her old man out of mind

Looks like I've caught us up on the story,
So here we are:
Boy stops in to take a leak and meets girl.
[Girl meets the man she's been
Waiting for to set her free.]
Now they're in a lotion filled car.
And this life chapter is ending;
I'm goin' nowhere as a lotion tzar,
[This old car]
But this old Brat should get us far.

I've liberated her from her posh but empty
Life as a New York debutante
[She wasn't made for life in any high society;
She needs something aberrant]
[[I'm having a good drive with my
New York debutante]]
[[[She needs an adventure, my
New York debutante]]]

We got a long way to go before we
Get to New Orleans
[New Orleans]
But for the moment we're just happy
Drivin' with our dreams
[With our dreams]
And gettin' some grub in Queens

It's time to unload some lotion after
We finish our meal
[Bulgogi]
And so then Johnny Lee and I,
We do cut a deal
[Getting a steal]
He's really getting a steal

Well, now I'm pumped fulla soju and so
Phoebe's in Brat command
And I'm just navigating us
The best I can
[Road as land]
And all road is our land

Lotion dilettante, teenage debutante
Nubile sycophant, inguinal commandant
[Ooo, sycophant]
I'm her tough guy guardant
And she's my little adjuvant
[Yeah, tough guy guardant]
Affaire mas piquant, Asian intoxicant
[Mas piquant]
I-95 accelerant, neuf et soixant
[Accelerant]
Have some Asti Spumant(e), à votre sant(é)
[Asti Spumant(e)]
A tuneful maison du sant(e)
And some lotion fragrant.
[maison du sant(e)]